Recently on «Wait, Is This a romantic date?» we’re joined by Autostraddle Chief Executive Officer and

L Keyword

expert
Riese Bernard
to talk about: The Chart. That is right! This occurrence is about lesbian interconnectivity — setting up with pals’ exes, pals connecting with this exes, and culture developed by what drama.

Appear the gossip, stay your psychological control. And before that enjoy a casino game that tests Christina’s borders: Would U-Haul? (Spoiler alert: she generally speaking will never.)

Thank-you for the great feedback after all of our premiere! When you yourself haven’t yet think about providing us with a rating or evaluate!


PROGRAM RECORDS

+ Five years ago Riese developed an
Old Hollywood data
that is the intersection of all of the my interests.

+ Listed Here Is
the article
I reference where We mention connecting using my roommates.

+ My personal crush associated with the week Mj Rodriguez released a music video clip on her tune
«something you should Say»
!

+ As anyone who has just viewed some periods of

The Nanny

this montage
of Christina’s crush of this few days C.C. Babcock had been stunning if you ask me whenever it turned-out she and Niles aren’t both homosexual. (Christina informs me they basically nonetheless tend to be.)


Drew:

I might end up being extremely great with-it existing. I’d never ever add somebody else without their own permission. But the thought of anytime someone was like, «Confirm that you may be connected to myself,» I’d wind up as, «Yeah, it’s the existence i have lived. I do not care about.» Is weird? Usually an issue?


Christina:

No, since if I wasn’t, I would feel terrible not-being. I would personally be like, «hold off, I am not sleeping?»


Theme track performs


Drew:

Hi, I’m Drew.


Christina:

Hi, I’m Christina.


Drew:

And welcome to

Hold Off, Is It A Date?


Christina:


Hold Off, Is It A Date?

is an Autostraddle podcast inquiring the top concerns. First of all, is it a date? Just what are dates? Who will be dates? Can we like times? They are form of questions that we answer about this right here incredibly professional and lovely podcast.


Drew:

My name is Drew Gregory. I’m an author at Autostraddle and a filmmaker and, famously, a trans lesbian.


Christina:

I’m called Christina Tucker. I’m also an author at Autostraddle. I will be a loud queer on the net. I will be getting better at explaining my self as a writer and, famously, a lesbian. Which is all of us. That is which we have been.


Drew:

Yeah. Therefore all of our primary topic this week is The Chart.


Christina:

I simply thought it required a sting. I’m not sure. That believed actually remarkable, but In my opinion it required it.


Drew:

Yes. No, please, kindly, kindly. Many thanks, thank you so much. No, no, no. The correct number of drama.


Christina:

Many thanks.


Drew:

Yeah. Therefore we’re discussing lesbian interconnectivity.


Christina:

I really like that term because it seems like you will need to restart the lesbians. It may sound like connection to the internet is not operating.


Drew:

Yes. It’s very higher level, really futuristic, but additionally has been in existence since there’s been lesbians, i do believe.


Christina:

Yeah. In my opinion students would say once they found the most important lesbian fossils, they found an information alongside of those created into the mud. And I also believe that’s just what that motion picture is mostly about, correct? It is more about the information? That film with Kate Winslet therefore the mud fossils?


Drew:


Ammonite?


Christina:

Yeah, that is what it is more about.


Drew:

I wish

Ammonite

involved cavern women. I’d view that lesbian flick.


Christina:

Well, when I have not seen it, i’ll bravely point out that it had been. Cool.


Drew:

Yeah. Since it is like we numerous lesbian duration parts, but we have now never ever eliminated straight back that far. And I think it’s time we perform.


Christina:

Let’s only keep having it furthermore back in its history.


Drew:

Before we get to your primary subject, you’re nonetheless getting to know us. And I believed that it might be enjoyable to experience a-game for which you guys could actually get acquainted with Christina. So our icebreaker because of this week is only a little video game that we name «Would U-Haul.»


Christina:

I’m, once more, so pressured relating to this. This might just be just how i-come inside video game. This might be my personal video game mentality, somewhat high-key, somewhat stressed. That is okay. We are all reading.


Drew:

I believe which is fantastic. I think that may make you more vulnerable, maybe.


Christina:

Among my personal favorite emotions.


Drew:

Just a horror, only a severe horror. So that the manner in which «Would U-Haul» works is actually I’m going to describe a situation. Let’s refer to it as Christina enthusiast fiction. And I also’m going to pause after each and every small area are want, «Okay, Christina, i am aware you have never ever stayed with someone, do not want to live with someone. But under these circumstances, would U-Haul?»


Christina:

And that I will possibly say yes or we’ll say, «I’m prepared.»


Drew:

If you do not — well, we will see here. But I’m thrilled. I think I’ve perhaps damaged the code.


Christina:

You damaged the code? I am excited.


Drew:

Let’s find out how very long this takes. Assuming you won’t ever perform, I think you winnings? I’m not sure how discover champions right here.


Christina:

I am not sure that there are champions inside the video game of U-Hauling.


Drew:

Well, I’m not sure should you decide’ll go along with that following this. And so I’m going to get heading.


Christina:

Fair sufficient.


Drew:

Okay. So, Christina.


Christina:

Drew.


Drew:

You’re at your buddy’s wedding. Regardless of the large number of romcoms you have absorbed, you did perhaps not visit this wedding ceremony considering you would satisfy anyone because, well, this is not a romcom. This is actually the genuine and typical longevity of Christina Grace Tucker. You are taking your designated seat and are glancing at the cellphone once you understand a lady at the table is looking at you. She introduces by herself as the friend’s previous babysitter. She is stayed a buddy of the family, but she does not truly know anyone there. She appears to be mid-forties features a striking angular face. You start chatting. She offers to provide a glass or two. Once she stacks up, you realize she’s six feet high, 6′ 3″ in pumps. So you know very well what? I am only likely to stop there and start to become want, at this time, would U-Haul?


Christina:

I am captivated. I’m fascinated because i may get put at the marriage. But so far I am not U-Hauling everywhere.


Drew:

Cool. Which is entirely reasonable. Entirely reasonable. Okay. So that you spend whole wedding ceremony getting to know each other. There’s merely an instantaneous spark and quick biochemistry. And indeed, you do connect while the intercourse is actually incredible.


Christina:

Tight.


Drew:

And thus this wedding was in Northern California. And that means you both increase your own remains for a few days to fuck and check out and eat at restaurants and screw. Therefore provide to split the price of the now mutual area, but she laughs you off and is also similar, «clearly maybe not, honey.» So the next three days tend to be secret. You are feeling your wall space tumbling straight down. You are dropping quicker than you previously have actually. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Therefore simply for understanding’s sake, I’m having a difficult time picturing some sort of which we took three surprise days away from work to go out with an individual i really do not understand. That appears bonkers. But if I did, great for me. But i am not U-Hauling at this time. It’s going to be a no.


Drew:

Great. Okay. That is great. You merely found. I have it. I get it. Okay.


Christina:

Thanks really.


Drew:

So she returns to New York therefore return to Philadelphia.


Christina:

This is where We stay.


Drew:

And you’re texting everyday. This is where you reside as well as being where this girl life. And you are texting all the time and you also see one another many times 30 days. She actually is very busy with her task, but she’s rapid to get you a train pass to arrive see the lady and remain at the woman breathtaking brownstone in Fort Greene. And then 6 months pass. Plus one evening when you’re off to supper, she requires one to relocate together. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

And relocate to Ny? I really don’t really like nyc. No, I am not transferring at the 6 months tag. I am not performing that, no.


Drew:

Okay, okay. Totally, entirely, entirely. Wow. Okay. Which means you hold internet dating long-distance. She realizes that you need some time and she is willing to loose time waiting for you. Even more months pass. It is now already been over a-year. The property manager informs you that they’re offering your place to a developer who’s putting in condos, and that means you can’t renew it. You should get a hold of an innovative new place. Your today sweetheart informs you that no stress, but the woman offer nonetheless appears. Would U-Haul?


Christina:

Okay. At this stage, I would U-Haul for a couple of reasons.


Drew:

Yay! Ok. Please inform us.


Christina:

Primarily, in some sort of for which my personal landlord offered the house in order to develop it, my property manager is my companion, in order that may seem like anything went completely wrong in our friendship. And that I might choose to merely leave Philadelphia in any event. And in case I have to move in using my girlfriend over here, that appears okay. That’s great. Totally great. But yeah, i do believe i would require an external energy like a mean property manager.


Drew:

That is thus — fine. Used to do believe you might must require construction in order to get there, therefore I’m grateful We realized that.


Christina:

Yeah. That is precisely what has to affect myself initial.


Drew:

Well, I’m pleased to understand what it does take. Very theoretically, if perhaps you weren’t kicked out, how much cash more time?


Christina:

Truly, which could went on for a long time. Philly and New York are not even that definately not each other. I got space over right here. We are jumping backwards and forwards. We’re having memories. I possibly could have let that roll for quite some time until I guess Shoshana can become the worst person I know.


Drew:

I didn’t know that Shoshana owned your own home. Well, there you go.


Christina:

There we go. Wow, which was exciting.


Drew:

Well, thanks for playing.


Christina:

I am pressured, to be clear.


Drew:

And that I’m grateful that i understand… possibly in case you are actually ever, therefore if anyone’s ever dating you and wishes you to move around in, maybe your gf told Shoshana to offer the house in the interest of the commitment.


Christina:

Genuinely the quickest method — somebody would have to communicate with Shoshana and stay like, «only kick the girl .» After which she’d wind up as, «Yeah, yes. Needless to say.» That could be how it took place, in the event she failed to sell the home. Some one would just be like, «Could you simply stop her out very she will simply get over it and move in with me?» And she would state yes. A hundred percent she’d accomplish that. That is what relationship is actually.


Drew:

I like that.


Christina:

Yeah, that’s actually beautiful.


Drew:

Really, I feel like we discovered alot about you.


Christina:

Thanks. I believe like We discovered alot about myself, also. Risk of homelessness is truly the matter that helps to keep me personally relocating any scenario, i assume. Wow.


Drew:

Well, that’s great.


Christina:

That was truly fascinating. I’m similarly excited to move into the major sector because i believe speaking about lesbian connectivity using this visitor, using this special guest, In my opinion it’s going to be remarkable, Drew. Just how could you be feeling?


Drew:

I’m thus thrilled. It is a specialist. And by that, What i’m saying is an

L Keyword

expert, but additionally a little bit of specialized into the topic available.


Christina:

I believe two things tends to be correct, my buddy. I think a couple of things is correct without a doubt. Do we like to present the visitor or do we wish our visitor to introduce themselves?


Drew:

I’d love all of our guest to introduce herself.


Christina:

Guest.


Drew:

I’ll point out that the guest could be the one and only Riese Bernard.


Christina:

Guest, speak.


Riese:

Hi, I’m Riese. Plus its odd becoming the visitor!


Christina:

Yeah, its.


Riese:

I had not to say everything. I didn’t even take action. I did say circumstances. I experienced to sit right here silently.


Christina:

And you also happened to be actually brave. Along with your confronts had been valued.


Riese:

Many thanks a whole lot.


Christina:

Though this is certainly demonstrably an audio medium, I want all of our audience to find out that Riese was creating some great response faces during «Would U-Haul.»


Riese:

Absolutely numerous ways to get heard. Guess what happens i am talking about? That is what I always say. I will be the Chief Executive Officer of Autostraddle.com. And I’m also on an undefeated kickball staff. And that is myself. I’ve a puppy called Carol. And that I have actually outdated people.

gay bear dating official website


Christina:

Congrats about kickball!


Riese:

Thank you. I’ve been involved with individuals.


Christina:

Great. Adoring that. That is fantastic to take to the, this right here internet dating podcast. That’s really good.


Riese:

Yeah. I think that… can there be whatever else?


Drew:

No, i do believe that’s fantastic, Riese.


Christina:

Whatever you decide and wish discuss.


Riese:

I like raspberries, the fresh fruit raspberries, and private pools.


Christina:

In Contrast to…


Riese:

You know an individual goes like…


Drew:

It really is like as soon as you strike. Yeah.


Christina:

Oh. Those tend to be disgusting, and so I just evacuated all of them from my brain.


Riese:

Yeah. And that is all.


Christina:

Great.


Drew:

Really, we straight away considered you for this topic.


Christina:

That’s true.


Drew:

Because first of all, clearly, queer women and non-binary people in lesbian community being like, I’m not sure, making love with people which their friends experienced sex with since a long time before

The L Word

had been previously a string. But i actually do feel

The L Keyword

solidified a certain social notion of the data with Alice Pieszecki. Therefore I decided you’d have lots of understanding of this topic.


Riese:

Its real. Two of the authors, I want to say, of

The L Keyword

had this actual information of them as well as their buddies they were attracting on the wall surface or whatever. And Guinevere Turner, I think, had been one among them. She talked to you regarding it, they had created this. Because certainly, everyone because writer’s space had fucked other folks inside the writer — you understand, as well as the prolonged internet of this generation of lesbians in L. A.. And they also watched that and they certainly were like, «Let’s place it inside the program.» And a few of them are on the data. Like, one particular just who … like, genuine people are in the information as bull crap.


Christina:

Which is incredible. Which is the way you know you have made it.


Riese:

Isn’t really that cute?


Christina:

That could be exciting for me.


Riese:

Therefore when you haven’t viewed

The L Term,

firstly, congrats. Second of all, it will become the centerpiece of 1 of one’s direct figure, Alice’s, apartment. She has it all over the woman wall surface. Looked after may be the name of a web site they began called ourchart.com that flopped. And also the concept … and it’s really inside pilot, I think. For the very first occurrence, Alice begins talking about just how everyone’s connected, because every person’s connected with this person. And that I can link you, as you’re most likely a maximum of two levels away from me personally. And this was actually true. Like, despite Dana, that has not a lot of knowledge because she ended up being a closeted tennis user, they however managed to link this lady. And that is actual life because it’s real.


Christina:

That’s culture. Yeah. That is what tradition seems like.


Riese:

That’s tradition. That’s queer culture right there. Now every person tends to make their maps.


Christina:

Yeah. To ensure that was going to end up being my personal then concern, had been have either people made a chart? Because I do not consider I have, I am also particular now thinking like, that was this last year seated within my house for basically don’t make a chart? Like, that which was the point of that, actually?


Riese:

I think i have done it during my log, equally like … Because I really like, I am not sure, planning info, i assume, as a thought workout.


Christina:

Yeah, I think that is also the reason why I am astonished that I haven’t accomplished it. I prefer the idea of categorizing things.


Riese:

Right. Yeah. Because it is interesting. I don’t know exactly why it is very fascinating, but it’s. It’s fascinating are love, wow, all of these people, they can be connected. It’s untamed.


Drew:

From the tv series, once ourchart.com is actually designed, they’ve got an actual information that individuals will add material. And I feel something you joked pertaining to on

To L and Right Back,

and now people state continuously is like, if this existed in a real way, no-one would put their particular names about it, not one person would feel at ease getting their unique names onto it.


Riese:

You’d.


Drew:

I would. I would be really fine with it present. I would never ever include some other person without their permission. But the concept of similar, every time somebody ended up being like, «make sure you may be connected with me personally,» I would wind up as, «Yeah, it’s the life I’ve lived. I really don’t care about.» Is the fact that weird? Would be that a problem?


Christina:

No, as if I becamen’t, i might feel bad not … i might be like, «Wait, I am not on it? Like, i’m very sorry, exactly what?» No, that would in fact send myself into a light ethical stress about whom Im as an individual, everything I’m performing. Am I interesting? Would individuals {like